Gatherings Beware

So you got really excited to go chill with [friend/acquaintance/possible D.] You arrive to the event, and unbeknown-st to you, some others were invited and this is a gathering. Regrettably, you detect some Ds. Typical! You've changed your mind of this attendance decision all ready. You should have known. Thoughts about how long you actually have to stay and when is the "just making an appearance" cut off run through your head; you crave a u-turn. You're lucky if you just came from the giving tree*.

Say a gathering decides to pop in a movie, you know you're in for a treat. Hands down there will be that douche who repeats every line of the lame comedy [description confirmed on account of the giving tree's gift] everyone thought was a good idea. Great Job! The D's seen this movie more than once. It's retarded, and it sucks to be you. That zinger was let alone painful enough to hear from the actor, but man did D for real have to repeat it .01 seconds afterward? Oh, please. Shut the fuck up all ready.


Sometimes worse than a movie scenario, is a gathering regulated by drinking games. Don't get sucked into playing anything with the sort of title like "fuck the dealer" or "cannonball." You can drink a beer without someone counting your gulps. You don't feel like mindlessly guessing a single card out of fifty-two nor do you think this is fun. Preferably you'd sit aloof [giving tree gave well tonight!] and in disbelief as to why every single one of them is playing that game. Alright, so if you gotta be an alcoholic a guilty participant sometime, you bet you better make it fun. A for real card game that requires some strategy is the way to go, obviously. Spades and drinking! Win-Win! Unfortunately, when there are Ds around, making this happen can be rare.

Hopefully you're smart enough to have pre-gamed and came prepared to this gathering [lord knows the giving tree is waitin for ya.] Somehow, and no one ever knows how this happens, the situation takes a right angle: the douchebags here are also squares. Crazy eye's focused on your drink? Seriously? Everyone else and their dad can enjoy a glass of wine or whiskey. In fact there are others here doing just that. Don't your nose up to me, D. No one is interested in (and isn't going to bother) your "clean" life style, so don't worry about mine. Next time consider peacefully declining something you think is unhealthy rather than dishing the shit out, which is point blank unhealthy for all.

All in all, sometimes the only gathering you need is with the giving tree.

 *a visit with Mary Jane