Good god, lady

So this being my first post on JD, I wanted to make it count. I wanted to come in with a bang. That being said I expected to have to wait a hot minute for the perfect D to come around. Little did I know, said D would fall into my lap in a matter of days.

I had nothing but bad feelings when your sketchy ass started walking over. But honestly I wasn’t that upset when you asked to use my phone, after all I was awaiting our sober ride in the MOJO’s parking lot. So yeah, sure thing, go ahead, but it may be a little querky, it’s led a rough life. So I understood once who ever the fuck you called didn’t pick up, you discarded my phone for my buddies for try number two. I was even mildy acceptable when, while taking your sweet time dialing, you asked a fellow acquaintance for a cigarette and were rewarded. Of course, you need a lighter too. All of this is actually ok, but you sealed your fate with you next move, D. At this point in time our sober ride had shown, and we are waiting on the D to finish her phone call so we can roll the fuck out. Clearly you realize this, as we all move towards the vehicle. Still taking your time, once you’re done you have the nerve to ask for.. wait… what? A ride!? Who the fuck do you think you are? Do you see the back seats in that coupe? They’re about as small as your brain lady, and we already have to use them both. Had you been asking me, you would have been hoofing it to the gas station to meet buster brown. But alas, my highly intoxicated friend has graciously granted your request. That’s my seat bitch! You’re lucky the girl that kindly gave you a cigarette also kindly offered to give me a ride home. Otherwise I would have protested outright, there’s no way I’m waiting here while you get taxied around. And on top of all this, to change destinations mid-trip because “he’s not there”, while still smoking talked about cigarette in a usually smoke-free vehicle? You’ve got some nerve D, some nerve.