I Am Not a Fly

The horror.

Just look at that picture above and tell me your overall well-being doesn't plummet by about 300%. Are they trying to break my spirits? The answer, clearly, is an overwhelming "yes".

I am not a fly. I do not revel in light that blinds/stuns. Why set up a lighting system that literally makes everyone ugly? Flattering to no one. God knows I don't want to end up like Jerry's girlfriend and cause fright in a potential mate. The mildly attractive opposite sex member is now stifling a horrified gasp and a look of pure shock. These bulbs aren't doing you any favors either, pal. These fluorescent lights are rather condemning.

We are being turned into zombies. People think the government is trying to control us by other means? Open your eyes! It's all in the lights. You're telling me they don't want me to be driven to insanity to the point of braindeath? Well that's exactly what's happening. Why do you think fluorescent lighting is used in virtually every building imaginable? Oh sure, it's cheap. But so cost effective! Flocking their sheeple one fluorescent bulb at a time.

Just a crazy idea: would it really turn the world upside down to get a lamp in here? Shit, looking at a white piece of paper is causing me singed retinas.

Say goodbye to my loved ones, because I'll be flatlining here in another minute.