Oh hey guys, catchin' some rays? Right outside my window? Your friend in the yellow may be thinking the same thing as me: I say this only because I think he's giving you the same look I am. What the blazin is going on? You've been sitting out on this bench, shirtless, doing what exactly? Ahh...being a doucher. It'd be one thing if you came out yesterday, with the girls who had towels, tanning oil, and music--laying out in the middle of a muddy lawn getting trampled over by frisbee fanatics. I could then see your true purpose: getting your bronzer on in the douchiest way possible. But here right now, just chillin on this bench with your homeboy in cargos, I think you need everyone's eyes just to be seen, and you'll pawn it off as just trying to "get tan. " This behavior is not helping your case, and in my opinion unacceptable. Go find a pool.
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