Listen buddy, it's not my fault that it's my fault. You were in my blind spot... My car should probably be in the water, the length of it. So I wanted to switch lanes: my sincere apologies that you also decided to fly into this newly-formed lane a few cars behind me ( I can't see you there!) at the exact same time. My insincere apologies that I almost hit you. Right away I said sorry and waved across both of our open windows. What else can I do for you? A "fuck you" or "asshole" yelled back at me would have been preferable to the five-minute bitch fit you just screamed across lanes. Really now? I apologized, so you should probably move on with your life. Holding up the rest of the traffic to scream at me for quite a while is a bit of a stretch. If you're gonna try and yell at me about "how to drive" and to "look where I'm going", maybe you should try not going 50 in a 30 (especially when you're maneuvering around cars because a separate lane was just formed.) I always look over my shoulder when I switch lanes: that's the same moment you came flying out of nowhere, and I stopped because I almost ran into you. I'm only sorry to the universe about the doucheness boiling over the whole situation.
Upon further review, It would have been more satisfying to have just plowed into your car, because the freely acquired boat I'm driving wouldn't be missed.
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