1. Do you find yourself, on more than one occasion, in the presence of shifting feet and close-ended conversations in another person's home? Perhaps one-ended conversations?
2. Do you ignore human signals suggesting that said person is "gonna go get some sleep now"?
3. Are you barely acquainted with said person?
5. Do others perceive you, as far as you are aware, as tiresome, creepy, or pesky?
If you've answered a sheepish "maybe" to any of these questions, you are a Stage 3 Douche. Worst of all, ya don't even know it! Stage 3 Douche (I shall refer to you as The Lag-Behind), you have easily surpassed Lingering Asshole and have dared to tread dangerous, incredibly clueless waters. And you're gonna make me come right out and say it, too. Because that's just the kind of person you are. A suggestion: Familiarize yourself with certain social devices, particularly one called "exit strategy." I don't care who what where (you'll notice "when" is conspicuously absent) why or how you leave, but ya can't stay here.
4. Are you a person whom folks often skip over a question on the douche checklist because they've all ready checked all of the above?
ReplyDeletehahahaha
ReplyDeletei won't even change it
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