Think Again: So You've Decided to Steal Beer.

So ya think you're gonna steal my beers. Know what I say? Think again.

You aren't suave. You don't think much of me, do ya Beer-Swindling D? I would have to be a paraplegic to not feel you unzipping my heavy backpack! I have nerves throughout my whole body, you know. And for good reason. To not be bamboozled out of my hard-earned booze by a douche who thinks himself some kind of cat-burglar. Believe it or not, I don't have this backpack hanging off me as an open invitation to just take what you will. I bike-pedaled my way 6 city blocks (in a downpour no less) with the promise of an ice cold, cheap-ass brew. Not to give free hand outs to bums who won't carry their own! I mean, yeah, I'll be honest- we've all been guilty of a little theft here and there. But right now I just won't have it. Here you are, caught in the act of thievery, expecting me to be generous. No you may not have my beer. Thanks for asking though. Ya know, after i found you directly behind me probing the contents of my ale-laden bookbag. Better luck next time, pal!