There's nothing worse than waking up to someone mowing their lawn. Should I curse the douche merely cutting his grass or myself for leaving the window open? Well in the case of today it was the douche trying to MOW THE SIDEWALK! What the pancakes are you doing?!? That piercing, screeching noise is the blades scraping the concrete, dumb-ass douche. My whole day might be ruined. I could have let it slide if perhaps it was just a few seconds, a whoops-e-daisy, and you got the mower back on track--in the grass. However, you must have thought a jungle was growing on the sidewalk because you proceeded to mow around the entire walkway, five minutes of nails on a chalkboard. What's going on? Really, I don't know why you're doing this, and how you're even putting up with the noise being right next to (and producing, goddamnit!) the source. I'm definitely not still drunk & delusional because my head is swimmin' this morning--okay afternoon--and this chronic, painful noise may make me come out there and do something rash. Pardon me, but I'm lazy, so I'll just call you a douche.
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