Time's Up

There comes a time in a man's life when he's gotta hang up his coat and deal with the fact that college parties are no longer his turf. Look, Bob, I get it. Fitting in didn't work out so well for you a decade ago, so I imagine you've decided to give it another try. You pick out your glossiest hair gel and slap a knockoff Rolex on your wrist, all whilst preparing your freshest pick up lines. Stop hitting on the underage drinkers and go do something with your life. Try being a little proactive. Maybe get a job. Or a girlfriend. Or just a life in general would suffice. Those confused stares you're getting? For good reason. You are painfully out of place. It's uncomfortable for me to see you here when you're well into your late 20s (early 30s?) trying to fit in the with college crowd. We can all see through you, Way-Too-Old-For-This Douche. You don't want to overhear the infamous "What is he, 40?" line. Great way to become the least popular party guest, rest assured.

Fit together the pieces of the puzzle: you didn't belong here 10 years ago...